The Cup of Tea

A Cup of Tea – The Funeral Director’s Passage

Written by Esther Swanborough – Swanborough Funerals

It is common practise as a funeral director, to visit the family to make arrangements in the family home.  This is where I am able to connect with the family of the person who has died, usually over a cup of tea. It’s seems that a cup of tea is the universal language of comfort and connection. I never drank tea before becoming a funeral director. Now I am totally and unashamedly addicted. Not to tea itself necessarily but to the connection it provides.

In my profession, connection is precious. This family need to know that I have an intimate understanding of how much the person who has died is loved by them .I am the one who has taken over the role of caring for their dearly beloved. This family need for me to understand how precious this life they have placed into my trust was.  So we sit, and chat over a cup of tea. They share stories and favourite past times. The family try their best, to create a picture through words, emotions or showing me photos, when none of these are really adequate to describe the love and loss. A life and a love are impossible to express through mere words. And sometimes there are no words.

Then, the light is switched on and the heart connection happens. I have been invited into the inner sanctum – a place in the heart of a family where few are permitted,   an inexpressible place of honour and trust. I have switched from outward sympathy to inner compassion and empathy. I am changed. I cannot turn back to how I was yesterday because of this family.  This family that I am drinking tea with today have left their mark on my heart. This loved one, the one I have never met in person, the one my family speak of has reached beyond death and etched their way permanently into my life and I, for one, would not have it any other way.